


like all those sad, sad love songs

by Anonymous



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Buffy and Andi are mentioned like once, Episode Related, Episode: s03e06 Cookie Monster, Episode: s03e07 The New Girls, Hopeful Ending, M/M, TJ is so in love, TJ pov, like damn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 14:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17346737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Look, TJ. You’re being really lame about this. Almost as lame as your buddy Cyrus.” Reed shakes his head. “Just forget about him and have some fun.”Forget about him. Forget about Cyrus.There's no way.





	like all those sad, sad love songs

**This is what does it:**

Cyrus gets on his bike, and TJ has never, in his entire life, felt like a bigger pile of crap. Regret is something he’s used to, but regret while he’s still _doing_ something is new. Of course, when it comes to Cyrus, his emotions have proven repeatedly that nothing’s impossible.

When he turns back to Reed, his face is stormy. Noticing his expression and Cyrus’s absence, Reed scoffs.

“Did he really take off?” Shakes his head. “TJ, I know you like him, but the guy’s a total dweeb.”

“Shut up.” TJ wants to hit him. Reed has said a lot of dumbass stuff, but TJ’s never wanted to hit him before. His hands shake, and he balls them into fists at his sides. “You had no problem laughing at everything he said.”

“Dude, you said to be nice! I was nice.”

“You brought a gun!” And showed it to Cyrus. Fuck, that--Cyrus probably thought the worst of him right now.

“To shoot watermelons! I’m trying to show your boy a good time.”

TJ snorts. “How could you possibly have thought that was a good idea? I told you Cyrus is responsible and likes being safe!” Just getting him out there on a dirt bike had been a gamble.

Damn it, but things had been going so well. There’s a sting in TJ’s eyes that he can’t quite blink away, and he can’t stop replaying the disappointed way Cyrus said his name.

He’s tried so hard to never have to hear that tone again, and now he’s lucky if he’ll ever hear Cyrus’s voice at all.

“That’s why I showed it to him first, and offered to let him hold it.”

TJ glares at him. His jaw is clenched so tight it hurts, and that urge to hit Reed is welling up again.

“Look, TJ. You’re being really lame about this. Almost as lame as your buddy Cyrus.” Reed shakes his head. “Just forget about him and have some fun.”

Forget about him. Forget about Cyrus. Forget about how he’d looked TJ in the eyes and told him there was nothing wrong with him. Forget the way he’d shrieked with joy, completely uninhibited, when he’d finally somersaulted for the first time. Forget the way his cheeks ache around Cyrus because he makes him feel so bright inside that he can’t stop smiling. About the way he looks at TJ sometimes, his eyes going so dark they’re nearly black, and then looks down, and those long, long lashes of his sweep his cheeks. Forget the way one corner of his mouth twitches up sometimes, just for TJ. 

There is no fuckin' way.

“You know he’s right? This whole thing,” TJ gestures to Reed, to Lester, to the the watermelons and that stupid backpack, “is stupid. And dangerous. And we shouldn’t be doing it. You shouldn’t have brought the gun, Reed.”

“Oh, is that how it is?” Reed straightens slightly against the rock he’s leaning on. “I basically set up the opportunity for you to flirt with him, I’m nice to him, laugh at his jokes--”

“You laughed at everything he said! Not everything he says is a joke!”

“So what?”

TJ shakes his head. “Man, if you don’t get it, you’re not going to.” He grabs his helmet, looks at Lester, watching the whole argument silently. “You should get out of here too, Les,” he says, knowing he won’t.

Couple of dumbasses. He should have left with Cyrus.

 

**This is what he does:**

“Mom?” The door slams behind him, and TJ winces. He’s going to be in enough trouble as it is. Slamming the door will only make things worse.  

“Don’t slam the door.” His mother’s voice, irritated, comes from the kitchen.

Yep.

TJ toes off his shoes and sets his helmet down. “Sorry!” He repeats it in the kitchen, hovering over her shoulder as she stirs hamburger into a pot of boxed macaroni and cheese. “Sorry. Mom. I need to tell you something.”

Maybe sensing the urgency in TJ’s voice, his mom sets down the spoon and the bowl of hamburger, turns around. He notices she’s wearing her scrubs, frowns slightly. Another night shift. No wonder she’s going for a quick, easy meal.

“Is everything okay? How did your afternoon with Cyrus go?”

The mention of Cyrus feels like a spiky clamp closing on his heart, and it must show on his face, because his mother frowns. “What happened?”

“Reed brought his dad’s gun. He wanted to shoot watermelons. I didn’t know he was going to, but he did, and when he showed Cyrus…” TJ takes a deep breath, “He left, and he was really upset. Mom, what do I do?”

“You didn’t leave with Cyrus?” His mom clarifies, searching his gaze, and TJ drops his eyes guiltily.

“I know I should have,” he mumbles. “I left like ten minutes later.”

“Why didn’t you?”

TJ shrugs, shoulders jerking. He doesn’t know. It felt like such a huge deal when Cyrus was standing there asking him to, but as soon as he was gone it was the easiest thing in the world.

His mom sighs. “You have to go to the police.”

Eyes widening, TJ looks up at her face again. She looks like she expects him to argue. There’s a part of TJ that wants to. His palms get sweaty at the thought of the police.

“Gun safety is important, TJ. What Reed did was extremely irresponsible. And I am definitely going to be having a word with his father.” His mom shakes her head, mutters the kind of words she tells TJ not to say. Then she sighs. Pats his cheek. “You are staying in tonight. I have to get going for my shift, but Dad’ll be home soon. Tomorrow we’ll go down to the station and report what happened.” Glancing behind her, she sighs. “Finish dinner?”

“‘Course.”

“You’re a good kid, TJ.”

At least she means it when she says it now.  

 

**This is what happens:**

On Monday, Reed tells him TJ is an asshole, a traitor, and some other things that TJ is not going to repeat. TJ loses his two best friends, and it’s weirdly a relief. It saves him the trouble of telling them he wants nothing to do with them.

The only person TJ wants anything to do with is Cyrus.

His food tastes dry and stale. He’s having trouble sleeping, because all he can do is think about all the things he still hasn’t done with Cyrus, said to him. He cries. Heels of his palms pressed to his eyes, head on his knees, shoulders jerking with sobs.

He’s only ever cried when he’s angry, before.

Sometimes he sees Cyrus around the school, wants to go over, but he’s always, always with Buffy or Andi. Or both. The daggers they shoot him make it clear approaching them with a plea is useless.

Whatever. TJ knows that they already still thought he’s bad news.

Cyrus didn’t, though. Cyrus believed in him. And now he hates him.

He makes his way to the swings for the sixth day in a row, telling himself that if Cyrus isn’t there, he has to give up. Keep being the kind of person that deserves Cyrus, and maybe someday…

The swings come into view, and his heart stops, then leaps.

_Cyrus is there.  
_


End file.
